Did the School Holidays Get Away From You? Me Too. And the Phone.
We have a rule in our house. Phones don’t live in bedrooms past a certain time. It’s one of those boundaries that works beautifully during the school term - when bedtimes are predictable, mornings matter, and routines have a bit of backbone.
But in the holidays we get pretty loose.
Later nights. Slower mornings. “Just this once” becomes “well… it is the holidays.” And somewhere along the way, phones quietly crept closer to our beds.
For me, it got to the point where my phone became the first thing I reached for in the morning.
Not because I needed to or wanted to. But because it was there.
And that’s when I realised something important: this wasn’t about discipline or self-control. It was about habit.
Why phones are so hard to put down (and it’s not a character flaw)
I recently came across a story circulating online about a Finnish teacher who worked with students to reduce phone use – not by banning devices, but by interrupting the impulse to reach for them.
What struck me wasn’t the headline or the promise of a “fix”, but the underlying idea – one that is supported by research.
Studies into smartphone behaviour show that much of our phone use isn’t deliberate at all. It’s habitual. Our brains learn to associate small moments of boredom, discomfort or transition with a quick hit of stimulation – a notification, a scroll, a glance at the screen.
Researchers describe this as automatic checking behaviour – actions we repeat without conscious decision-making because they’re reinforced by brief, unpredictable rewards.¹
In other words: our nervous systems are doing exactly what they’ve evolved to do.
It’s the in-between moments that matter most
What the Finnish teacher described (and what research backs up) is that the real problem isn’t hours of screen time – it’s the tiny moments.
The in-between ones.
Getting out of bed.
Walking from one room to another.
Waiting for something to start.
Those pockets of boredom where the brain could wander… but instead reaches for a phone.
Behavioural psychology tells us that interrupting an automatic habit – even briefly – restores choice.²
Not forever. Not perfectly. Just enough to notice what’s happening.
Simple strategies like:
pausing before unlocking a phone
naming why you’re picking it up
keeping it physically further away during certain moments
aren’t about restriction. They’re about awareness.
And awareness is powerful.
Why boredom isn’t something to fix
At Upstage, we see this every single week.
Kids arrive carrying the noise of the world with them – screens, schedules, stimulation, expectations. And then, slowly, they settle.
They pause.
They play.
They imagine.
Boredom gets such a bad reputation, but research and lived experience tell us it’s often the gateway to creativity. When the brain isn’t being constantly fed, it starts to generate its own material; stories, ideas, questions, connection.
Drama doesn’t compete with screens. It offers something screens can’t.
Presence.
Embodiment.
Risk-taking without judgement.
A space where you’re allowed to take up room and be heard – without likes, comments or comparison.
A gentle reset, not a guilt spiral
If the holidays have felt a little screen-heavy in your house, you’re not alone. And you don’t need a detox, a dramatic reset, or a set of rules that collapse by Week Two.
Sometimes all it takes is:
noticing the habit
moving the phone just a little further away
letting boredom sit for a moment longer than feels comfortable
That’s where imagination stretches its legs.
And as the school year begins again, that’s a muscle worth strengthening.